(no subject)
Jun. 19th, 2011 03:29 amA List of Things That Have Happened in the last 72ish Hours:
1. I saw Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark 2.0. General impression: I like what it became. It’s very cohesive, and different. Some things I don’t like so much, but I’m trying to be vigilant of what I genuinely didn’t like or what is a knee jerk reaction in response to missing the old.
2. I saw my aunt and met her sisters. I say her sisters because she’s not a blood relative, but she was married to my uncle for the 20ish years before they divorced. So we kept her. I’d met one sister before, and I didn’t even know there were two more. But they were awesome, and I love my aunt.
3. We saw a comedy show at The Comic Strip in the city — headliner Bill Bailey. I freaked out and they were like, “Uh we have no idea who this is but awesome,” but he was great. Most of the other comics were also funny although a couple were just awful. And one lifted Victor Borge’s vocal punctuation routine, so I was Not Impressed.
4. I met a nice guy who is a friend of Bee’s friend and was in the apartment when she arrived on Friday. XD He was super sweet. We’re going to hang out.
5. Bee and I also made friends with an usher at the Foxwood — he was hilarious. He was on top of the asshats taking pictures in the theatre and at one point said, “The ONLY PERSON who can take pictures in this theatre is PETER PARKER.” And lo, I LOL’d. Loudly. and then we gave props to one of the security guys at the stage door because he had to announce that Reeve Carney wasn’t signing that night. (Which is probably for the best.) He was joking with the other security guy and asked, “Why do I have to give the bad news?” We told him that we had his back. And I so would have. I mean, the guy is just doing his job, and Reeve just put on a hell of a show, so like. Sit down and shut up, you know? Stage dooring is cool and all, I love it as much as the next person, but I paid to see the show and once the show’s over, everything else is sprinkles… but people can be asshats. And somehow I missed Chris Tierney so I have to go back so I can worship properly.
7. I also got lost because apparently there was like, no G train service this weekend which was what I was going to take to Atlantic Terminal. Except that didn’t work, I ended up blindly taking a C to a nearby station and poking my head into convenience stores asking if I was headed in the right direction.
6. I took the LIRR four times. I made my train at Atlantic terminal that should have put me back in Ronkonkoma at 1:35, which should have let me be on time for work at 2, but. :\ No such luck. There were signal problems and the train was late. I rolled in to work at 2:30. I called them once I knew I was going to be late, so they were not bovvered forsooth.
7. I wept bitter, bitter tears because I was exhausted and having a my-life-is-going-nowhere moment.
1. I saw Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark 2.0. General impression: I like what it became. It’s very cohesive, and different. Some things I don’t like so much, but I’m trying to be vigilant of what I genuinely didn’t like or what is a knee jerk reaction in response to missing the old.
2. I saw my aunt and met her sisters. I say her sisters because she’s not a blood relative, but she was married to my uncle for the 20ish years before they divorced. So we kept her. I’d met one sister before, and I didn’t even know there were two more. But they were awesome, and I love my aunt.
3. We saw a comedy show at The Comic Strip in the city — headliner Bill Bailey. I freaked out and they were like, “Uh we have no idea who this is but awesome,” but he was great. Most of the other comics were also funny although a couple were just awful. And one lifted Victor Borge’s vocal punctuation routine, so I was Not Impressed.
4. I met a nice guy who is a friend of Bee’s friend and was in the apartment when she arrived on Friday. XD He was super sweet. We’re going to hang out.
5. Bee and I also made friends with an usher at the Foxwood — he was hilarious. He was on top of the asshats taking pictures in the theatre and at one point said, “The ONLY PERSON who can take pictures in this theatre is PETER PARKER.” And lo, I LOL’d. Loudly. and then we gave props to one of the security guys at the stage door because he had to announce that Reeve Carney wasn’t signing that night. (Which is probably for the best.) He was joking with the other security guy and asked, “Why do I have to give the bad news?” We told him that we had his back. And I so would have. I mean, the guy is just doing his job, and Reeve just put on a hell of a show, so like. Sit down and shut up, you know? Stage dooring is cool and all, I love it as much as the next person, but I paid to see the show and once the show’s over, everything else is sprinkles… but people can be asshats. And somehow I missed Chris Tierney so I have to go back so I can worship properly.
7. I also got lost because apparently there was like, no G train service this weekend which was what I was going to take to Atlantic Terminal. Except that didn’t work, I ended up blindly taking a C to a nearby station and poking my head into convenience stores asking if I was headed in the right direction.
6. I took the LIRR four times. I made my train at Atlantic terminal that should have put me back in Ronkonkoma at 1:35, which should have let me be on time for work at 2, but. :\ No such luck. There were signal problems and the train was late. I rolled in to work at 2:30. I called them once I knew I was going to be late, so they were not bovvered forsooth.
7. I wept bitter, bitter tears because I was exhausted and having a my-life-is-going-nowhere moment.
(no subject)
Jun. 3rd, 2011 11:05 pmI didn't want my three thousandth entry to be me whining like it usually is. I wanted to take pictures of my room in the house and talk about how well I'm doing. Fun, fulfilling internship in the city, how much I love living off campus, etc. But I don't have that. What I have is about $400 to my name and a pile of unfulfilled expectations and some scary thoughts.
I've filled out so many applications and sent out my resume so many times I've lost count looking for a second job. I've stopped hoping for something that is actually at my level and am looking at McDonalds, Best Buy, and Home Depot. Everything else requires experience that I don't have. I worked four hours last week, four tonight, and I'm not scheduled for any next week. I probably won't have any the week after either, because I booked Friday off so I could welcome Bee to the city.
The house is... fine. I have housemates whose parents didn't seem to teach them that if it's not yours you shouldn't fucking touch it, but that I can deal with. What I can't deal with is this faffing about with the wireless. I am not a person who asks for much but when I have a shitty day (which I am having a lot of these days) all I want to do is curl up, watch some videos of kittens on YouTube, and then refresh Tumblr until it shows me something exciting. So in conclusion if it's not broke, DON'T FIX IT.
So I'm in the office right now, where it is unbearably warm and my desk chair is fucking uncomfortable, but my internet is stable. Priorities, I guess.
I basically want to quit school or take a leave of absence for a year and not be run off my feet. I hate being an adult; I'm not any good at it and it's really fucking exhausting pretending that I know what I'm doing and to not burst into tears even though that's all I want to do. But I guess I shouldn't worry about it since I don't actually have anywhere to be for at least a week. I feel like I'm drowning and I'd really like to know what I'm doing here. People can tell me "No" all the time and I can get myself wound up until I puke perfectly fine in Iowa. There has to be a reason I'm here.
I've filled out so many applications and sent out my resume so many times I've lost count looking for a second job. I've stopped hoping for something that is actually at my level and am looking at McDonalds, Best Buy, and Home Depot. Everything else requires experience that I don't have. I worked four hours last week, four tonight, and I'm not scheduled for any next week. I probably won't have any the week after either, because I booked Friday off so I could welcome Bee to the city.
The house is... fine. I have housemates whose parents didn't seem to teach them that if it's not yours you shouldn't fucking touch it, but that I can deal with. What I can't deal with is this faffing about with the wireless. I am not a person who asks for much but when I have a shitty day (which I am having a lot of these days) all I want to do is curl up, watch some videos of kittens on YouTube, and then refresh Tumblr until it shows me something exciting. So in conclusion if it's not broke, DON'T FIX IT.
So I'm in the office right now, where it is unbearably warm and my desk chair is fucking uncomfortable, but my internet is stable. Priorities, I guess.
I basically want to quit school or take a leave of absence for a year and not be run off my feet. I hate being an adult; I'm not any good at it and it's really fucking exhausting pretending that I know what I'm doing and to not burst into tears even though that's all I want to do. But I guess I shouldn't worry about it since I don't actually have anywhere to be for at least a week. I feel like I'm drowning and I'd really like to know what I'm doing here. People can tell me "No" all the time and I can get myself wound up until I puke perfectly fine in Iowa. There has to be a reason I'm here.
(no subject)
Mar. 18th, 2011 01:43 pmI have so much I want to talk about. But since brevity is the soul of wit and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief.
My sister is still in Japan of this moment. She's okay, there wasn't much damage in Nagoya from the earthquake, but she's going (I keep typing 'coming' but I'm not there) home for a bit and she'll get in on Monday. I don't know if my mom will ever let her go anywhere ever again, but maybe now at least she won't drive me crazy for a bit. I love my mother and understand being worried, but seriously. (I also understand that she is ~mother and her worry probably outshines any that I had -- and I was a bit worried but my sister is a smart girl and the Japanese know how to handle it.) I told Gretchen to grab something good when the looting started, but apparently they don't do that. Which is cool.
Sunday I went and saw Angels in America at Signature again. They changed the cast, and Michael Urie was playing Prior so obviously I had to go. As much as I hesitate to say it... Michael Urie is totally my Prior. Justin Kirk is wonderful in the film, and Christian Borle was amazing, but Michael? He was inspired. He was just the perfect combination of righteous, queeny rage, fear, awareness of the absurdity of it all, and at times, utter contempt for the world around him. And how he looks in a dress is exactly as unfair as you would think it is.
Adam Driver was a newcomer as Louis. I LOVED him. He LOOKED like a neurotic Jewboy, and had amazing comic timing. At first I thought he was a little stiff but I warmed up to him. I actually ended up liking Louis a little lot more than I usually do -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Considering some of the things he does, it increases my sympathy and emotional reaction when he does or says reprehensible things. Truthfully, Bill Heck puts too much ANGRY~ in his Joe for my taste. I get that he's supposed to be confused and maybe a bit self-loathing, but I don't think I should fear for Harper's safety when they're arguing. I didn't like Keira Keeley (I think that's her name) as Harper as much as I liked Zoe Kazan. Zoe was a bit younger, more ethereal -- I could believe she went flying and saw ex-drag queens in her hallucinations, but Keira went a bit more zombiesque with her interpretation at times. And there was a lot of yelling. :\ Bill Porter was still Belize and he was STILL fabulous. Jeffrey Wright is Jeffrey Wright but Bill Porter was DIVAING OUT. The angel was good. I don't know if I like her as much as Robin Weigert, but it was a different interpretation. A lot more human at all times, not just sometimes.
I didn't want to stalk too much -- stagedooring Off-Broadway is a different culture than Broadway shows, I'm finding -- but I wanted to fangirl Michael Urie a little and was under orders from
occultebelta to do so. So he signed my copy of The Temperamentals and told him I'd enjoyed that play as well, I'm teaching it in my 101 class this semester (last semester wasn't so impressed with Angels), and it was in part due to that play that I want to pursue my MFA project in queer dramaturgy. I voiced a concern about identifying straight -- in my experience, cautious self-deprecation and disclaiming works out better in the end when it's genuine -- and he blew it off. He said, "You may have more to say than a queer artist." So therefore I intend to make no more apologies about it. Onward and upward. Michael Urie said so.
Last week I applied and interviewed for a customer service position at Old Navy -- so basically what I'd been doing at Lane Bryant, but I'll be able to do it in jeans. Except when they offered me the position and tried to set up a time for me to come in for training and such, they proceeded to ignore the availability I gave them when I applied and tried to get me to come in Monday during classtimes, Tuesdays when I'm teaching, and damn. I don't even. Why? So I gave him my availability AGAIN and he said he'd call back. That was Wednesday. So if this is going to be a chronic problem I'm not sure I want to work for them. Because my school and teaching job are going to come first. Sorry. The end.
I had two major writing assignments due last Monday. Of course I left them until the last minute. One was a ten minute play, which I actually ended up being proud of despite not considering myself a playwright (it's hard to give all the information the audience needs just in dialogue without being didactic or fake). I got a B+ on a paper on Elizabethan foreign policy. I probably would have gotten higher if I'd been able to bother with MLA formatting and edit properly, but no. She did compliment my handling of the history though, so I will take it.
I've sort of started using my tumblr that I made to see what the fuss was about. And when I say 'using' I mean I'm reblogging shit like it's going out of style. It's here.
I am giving serious thought as to when I want to move, and 'soon' is what comes to mind. Twice this week I have been woken at 9:30 by a roommate (the same roommate) wailing the song "Fuck You" at the top of her voice. First of all, that's a god awful song 24/7, and second, 9:30 is not the proper hour to be shouting songs.
I just have this fear of not having enough money to stay in an apartment elsewhere and getting evicted and having to live in my car. Which is stupid. But I get anxious, I get depressed about being anxious, I get anxious because I don't get anything done when I'm depressed and it piles up, etc.
Also, Galileo is going to suck. And that is an objective assessment.
My sister is still in Japan of this moment. She's okay, there wasn't much damage in Nagoya from the earthquake, but she's going (I keep typing 'coming' but I'm not there) home for a bit and she'll get in on Monday. I don't know if my mom will ever let her go anywhere ever again, but maybe now at least she won't drive me crazy for a bit. I love my mother and understand being worried, but seriously. (I also understand that she is ~mother and her worry probably outshines any that I had -- and I was a bit worried but my sister is a smart girl and the Japanese know how to handle it.) I told Gretchen to grab something good when the looting started, but apparently they don't do that. Which is cool.
Sunday I went and saw Angels in America at Signature again. They changed the cast, and Michael Urie was playing Prior so obviously I had to go. As much as I hesitate to say it... Michael Urie is totally my Prior. Justin Kirk is wonderful in the film, and Christian Borle was amazing, but Michael? He was inspired. He was just the perfect combination of righteous, queeny rage, fear, awareness of the absurdity of it all, and at times, utter contempt for the world around him. And how he looks in a dress is exactly as unfair as you would think it is.
Adam Driver was a newcomer as Louis. I LOVED him. He LOOKED like a neurotic Jewboy, and had amazing comic timing. At first I thought he was a little stiff but I warmed up to him. I actually ended up liking Louis a little lot more than I usually do -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Considering some of the things he does, it increases my sympathy and emotional reaction when he does or says reprehensible things. Truthfully, Bill Heck puts too much ANGRY~ in his Joe for my taste. I get that he's supposed to be confused and maybe a bit self-loathing, but I don't think I should fear for Harper's safety when they're arguing. I didn't like Keira Keeley (I think that's her name) as Harper as much as I liked Zoe Kazan. Zoe was a bit younger, more ethereal -- I could believe she went flying and saw ex-drag queens in her hallucinations, but Keira went a bit more zombiesque with her interpretation at times. And there was a lot of yelling. :\ Bill Porter was still Belize and he was STILL fabulous. Jeffrey Wright is Jeffrey Wright but Bill Porter was DIVAING OUT. The angel was good. I don't know if I like her as much as Robin Weigert, but it was a different interpretation. A lot more human at all times, not just sometimes.
I didn't want to stalk too much -- stagedooring Off-Broadway is a different culture than Broadway shows, I'm finding -- but I wanted to fangirl Michael Urie a little and was under orders from
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Last week I applied and interviewed for a customer service position at Old Navy -- so basically what I'd been doing at Lane Bryant, but I'll be able to do it in jeans. Except when they offered me the position and tried to set up a time for me to come in for training and such, they proceeded to ignore the availability I gave them when I applied and tried to get me to come in Monday during classtimes, Tuesdays when I'm teaching, and damn. I don't even. Why? So I gave him my availability AGAIN and he said he'd call back. That was Wednesday. So if this is going to be a chronic problem I'm not sure I want to work for them. Because my school and teaching job are going to come first. Sorry. The end.
I had two major writing assignments due last Monday. Of course I left them until the last minute. One was a ten minute play, which I actually ended up being proud of despite not considering myself a playwright (it's hard to give all the information the audience needs just in dialogue without being didactic or fake). I got a B+ on a paper on Elizabethan foreign policy. I probably would have gotten higher if I'd been able to bother with MLA formatting and edit properly, but no. She did compliment my handling of the history though, so I will take it.
I've sort of started using my tumblr that I made to see what the fuss was about. And when I say 'using' I mean I'm reblogging shit like it's going out of style. It's here.
I am giving serious thought as to when I want to move, and 'soon' is what comes to mind. Twice this week I have been woken at 9:30 by a roommate (the same roommate) wailing the song "Fuck You" at the top of her voice. First of all, that's a god awful song 24/7, and second, 9:30 is not the proper hour to be shouting songs.
I just have this fear of not having enough money to stay in an apartment elsewhere and getting evicted and having to live in my car. Which is stupid. But I get anxious, I get depressed about being anxious, I get anxious because I don't get anything done when I'm depressed and it piles up, etc.
Also, Galileo is going to suck. And that is an objective assessment.
(no subject)
Mar. 2nd, 2011 10:13 pmI have the serious urge to shop.
I like shopping. I didn't used to. But in high school, this became a way that I connect with people. My mother and I like to go and try things on and put outfits together, even if we can't buy anything. (Okay, things that aren't on clearance. >_>) Eventually, my sister was old enough that she also got into the clothing thing and we all three like to go when we're together. Whenever Bee comes to visit me or vice versa we usually end up at a mall once (and if we're in Manhattan, wow don't even start). Kitty and I have shopped too, because she's about three inches around and is super fun to dress up.
I even like shopping alone sometimes. It's not as much fun getting second opinions and all, but I don't like to feel like I'm dragging people.
Anyway. Shopping is a problem because first of all, I should be saving money where I can, not spending it. Secondly, because I know it's because I don't want to work. I have two major assignments due Monday and don't want to do either of them. Thirdly, I'm feeling depressed and anxious and am looking for something to fill that hole.
Shopping in this state will have the effect of making me happy temporarily, but when I get home I'll have buyer's guilt and the money will be gone and I will have wasted my time and I'll be depressed and anxious again.
(Although both pairs of my jeans are wearing thin in the special area. If they rip, I'll have to replace them. :\ Slippery slope, I'm on it.)
I like shopping. I didn't used to. But in high school, this became a way that I connect with people. My mother and I like to go and try things on and put outfits together, even if we can't buy anything. (Okay, things that aren't on clearance. >_>) Eventually, my sister was old enough that she also got into the clothing thing and we all three like to go when we're together. Whenever Bee comes to visit me or vice versa we usually end up at a mall once (and if we're in Manhattan, wow don't even start). Kitty and I have shopped too, because she's about three inches around and is super fun to dress up.
I even like shopping alone sometimes. It's not as much fun getting second opinions and all, but I don't like to feel like I'm dragging people.
Anyway. Shopping is a problem because first of all, I should be saving money where I can, not spending it. Secondly, because I know it's because I don't want to work. I have two major assignments due Monday and don't want to do either of them. Thirdly, I'm feeling depressed and anxious and am looking for something to fill that hole.
Shopping in this state will have the effect of making me happy temporarily, but when I get home I'll have buyer's guilt and the money will be gone and I will have wasted my time and I'll be depressed and anxious again.
(Although both pairs of my jeans are wearing thin in the special area. If they rip, I'll have to replace them. :\ Slippery slope, I'm on it.)
(no subject)
Nov. 12th, 2010 01:56 pmIn conclusion, fuck you life.
Today is my day off, so if I have errands to do I generally do them on a Friday. Thumbs up, right? Well recently I've switched car insurances because the guys at my old company were a bunch of douchebags and tres expensive, so I went with Progressive. Now, I have to have a vehicle inspection before a certain date so they can make sure everything is kosher. Awesome, I can do this. Progressive gives me a company and an address so I think everything will be fine.
Except it isn't.
I get up and get out today to go to Main Street Mobil at 58 North Country Road in Setauket, follow the directions I got from Mapquest, and -- surprise -- there is no 58. There's a 56, and a 60, but 58 seems to elude me completely. There's no signs on the road saying "Main St. Mobil up this drive" etc. So, fine. I drive by a few times, look on the opposite side of the street, take a nearby side street. Literally every conceivable option I explore. So now that I'm annoyed and thinking, "Gee it would be nice to have a smartphone right now so that I could avoid going all the way back to the school and looking it up again on my home computer." (It's actually very close to the school, but Stony Brook is set up in a really stupid manner so getting back to my parking lot is really an exercise in patience, especially in the middle of the day where students will just cross the road willy nilly without looking.)
So I come back into my room, try to look up another location on Progressive, except the page where you can do that seems to disappear once they have your money. I put the address in to Google, and see that Mapquest was giving me wrong directions. So with a renewed sense of hope, I drive by hoping to see that address and -- nope. Nothing. Zero. NA. DA. It's either really well hidden (which I think is stupid but Long Island does this a lot -- there is no conceivable pattern to the streets at all and a lot of things are hidden back from the road) or I am just blind. So I came back here, giving up for the day.
And yeah. Now I'm pissed, because what should have been a quick little jaunt and took maybe half an hour or less wasted two hours of my time. I give up, universe. You win.
Today is my day off, so if I have errands to do I generally do them on a Friday. Thumbs up, right? Well recently I've switched car insurances because the guys at my old company were a bunch of douchebags and tres expensive, so I went with Progressive. Now, I have to have a vehicle inspection before a certain date so they can make sure everything is kosher. Awesome, I can do this. Progressive gives me a company and an address so I think everything will be fine.
Except it isn't.
I get up and get out today to go to Main Street Mobil at 58 North Country Road in Setauket, follow the directions I got from Mapquest, and -- surprise -- there is no 58. There's a 56, and a 60, but 58 seems to elude me completely. There's no signs on the road saying "Main St. Mobil up this drive" etc. So, fine. I drive by a few times, look on the opposite side of the street, take a nearby side street. Literally every conceivable option I explore. So now that I'm annoyed and thinking, "Gee it would be nice to have a smartphone right now so that I could avoid going all the way back to the school and looking it up again on my home computer." (It's actually very close to the school, but Stony Brook is set up in a really stupid manner so getting back to my parking lot is really an exercise in patience, especially in the middle of the day where students will just cross the road willy nilly without looking.)
So I come back into my room, try to look up another location on Progressive, except the page where you can do that seems to disappear once they have your money. I put the address in to Google, and see that Mapquest was giving me wrong directions. So with a renewed sense of hope, I drive by hoping to see that address and -- nope. Nothing. Zero. NA. DA. It's either really well hidden (which I think is stupid but Long Island does this a lot -- there is no conceivable pattern to the streets at all and a lot of things are hidden back from the road) or I am just blind. So I came back here, giving up for the day.
And yeah. Now I'm pissed, because what should have been a quick little jaunt and took maybe half an hour or less wasted two hours of my time. I give up, universe. You win.
I am watching some episodes of Hoarders on the internet. And now all I want to do is scrub the apartment from ceiling to floor.
( And now the part that is just blah. )
In other news, I have been daydreaming about working in a theatre somewhere near home that is not Chicago. Because Chitown makes me want to cry.
And I have a deficit in TA hours that I have absolutely no hope of making up by the end of the semester, so I am probably going to be in trouble with the department. I hate my life.
( And now the part that is just blah. )
In other news, I have been daydreaming about working in a theatre somewhere near home that is not Chicago. Because Chitown makes me want to cry.
And I have a deficit in TA hours that I have absolutely no hope of making up by the end of the semester, so I am probably going to be in trouble with the department. I hate my life.