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(no subject)
Apr. 24th, 2014 07:44 pmOne day I will wake up and this will have all been a bad dream.
(no subject)
Feb. 3rd, 2014 09:10 amThere’s this dream I keep having, I’ve had it probably five or six times over the last few months. Now, I’ll openly admit to being something of a clothes horse and being awful at weeding things out that I don’t wear, but in this dream I’m having the Nothing To Wear syndrome, despite that my closet is full, and I keep looking for this one specific article of clothing. The stuff in my closet is stuff that I don’t actually own or haven’t owned in years, and I just keep digging through the closet looking for this one piece of clothing that I guess I would like to wear.
Yeah I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything, right? :P
Yeah I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything, right? :P
(no subject)
Jan. 24th, 2014 02:55 pmWell, even if I don't know where to proceed with getting out of this town and back into a theatre, I suppose opening a bunch of tabs from offstagejobs.com is a start.
(no subject)
Dec. 25th, 2013 09:51 pmomg I just started downloading the Christmas special and I’m not ready. I’m not ready for Eleven to go.
As much as I love Ten, I feel like Eleven is “my” Doctor. And normally I hate that phrase because they are all the Doctor, even if they bring out very different parts of his personality, they are all the same character. But I caught up just after it was announced David was leaving, and the year after I caught up, he regenerated. So Eleven is really the first Doctor I’ve gotten to experience the way everyone else does — one episode at a time, in one season (or half season) chunks.
And I know there is an entire contingent of people who hate Moffat’s handling of the show, but you know what? He has missteps but if I wanted any entertainment that wasn’t problematic, I’d be in huge trouble. I like Moffat’s multiseries arcs with Eleven, and I liked that we didn’t get all the answers in a neat little bow at the end of the season, even if we thought we did. I love how much it gave me to think about, and how it made me love the Doctor even more.
I’m excited for Peter Capaldi and his journey as the Doctor, but Matt Smith will always hold a special place in my heart not just as a consummate actor of my generation and all around nice guy, but as the Eleventh Doctor.
As much as I love Ten, I feel like Eleven is “my” Doctor. And normally I hate that phrase because they are all the Doctor, even if they bring out very different parts of his personality, they are all the same character. But I caught up just after it was announced David was leaving, and the year after I caught up, he regenerated. So Eleven is really the first Doctor I’ve gotten to experience the way everyone else does — one episode at a time, in one season (or half season) chunks.
And I know there is an entire contingent of people who hate Moffat’s handling of the show, but you know what? He has missteps but if I wanted any entertainment that wasn’t problematic, I’d be in huge trouble. I like Moffat’s multiseries arcs with Eleven, and I liked that we didn’t get all the answers in a neat little bow at the end of the season, even if we thought we did. I love how much it gave me to think about, and how it made me love the Doctor even more.
I’m excited for Peter Capaldi and his journey as the Doctor, but Matt Smith will always hold a special place in my heart not just as a consummate actor of my generation and all around nice guy, but as the Eleventh Doctor.
(no subject)
Oct. 29th, 2013 11:49 pmSo this person has music for DL on their site, which is cool, including a CD that I REALLY, REALLY NEED BADLY WANT. But when you click to go to it, you have to fill out a survey, which THEN requires like at least two other tasks which involve money spent for shipping and handling and shit like that and do you know how cool that ISN’T?
Like, yeah, I may not buy a lot of music because I’m poor, and download it all, and maybe the artist doesn’t see any cash because of that. But at least I am not putting it online and then MAKING MONEY OFF IT FOR MYSELF.
Person who runs that shithole of a website: I hope your Wifi becomes terminally spotty. I hope your router dies. I hope the RIAA cracks you so hard your grandmother feels it. I hope viruses infect your computer. I hope your hard drive fries in the computer. I hope all your music and porn disappears. I hope every time you take a step for the rest of your life it feels like you are walking on legos. I hope your download speeds are throttled into non-existence.
Like, yeah, I may not buy a lot of music because I’m poor, and download it all, and maybe the artist doesn’t see any cash because of that. But at least I am not putting it online and then MAKING MONEY OFF IT FOR MYSELF.
Person who runs that shithole of a website: I hope your Wifi becomes terminally spotty. I hope your router dies. I hope the RIAA cracks you so hard your grandmother feels it. I hope viruses infect your computer. I hope your hard drive fries in the computer. I hope all your music and porn disappears. I hope every time you take a step for the rest of your life it feels like you are walking on legos. I hope your download speeds are throttled into non-existence.
If you want a horror movie and slasher type flicks don’t do it for you, I recommend The Poughkeepsie Tapes. It’s a documentary style horror film about a fictional serial killer. (Warning: the eponymous tapes do depict abuse and torture of a physical, mental, and sexual nature. It’s rated R, and it definitely earned it. It’s a hard R.)
If ghost/supernatural stories are more your thing, I recommend The Unborn. A young woman’s life is in danger from a dybbuk, who apparently came into this world after the death of a young boy in Auschwitz. It’s a little cheesy but it’s not nearly as campy as it could have been, and there are some good jump scares in it.
If ghost/supernatural stories are more your thing, I recommend The Unborn. A young woman’s life is in danger from a dybbuk, who apparently came into this world after the death of a young boy in Auschwitz. It’s a little cheesy but it’s not nearly as campy as it could have been, and there are some good jump scares in it.
(no subject)
Sep. 5th, 2013 07:23 pmI sang this my last year in the Women's Chorale at Coe College. (This is not us, obviously.) I post this because this message has struck me recently, and also I was thinking about our director. Hoff was not a lot of people's favorite professor, and sometimes he wasn't mine, but he loved music, and he loved theatre. The last year I was in school, when he took his yearly trip to New York, he brought back a Playbill for the revival of Sunday in the Park With George that he gave me, and he brought his Spring Awakening program so that I could look through it. He loved the choir; he loved doing the Christmas services every year, and once he had a bunch of us over to watch The Phantom of the Opera on DVD and there was a ton of food.
I didn't know -- probably could have guessed, but didn't know -- that he also suffered from depression. I think he was a lot like me in some ways, which is maybe why it hit me hard when he committed suicide in 2009. So like I said even if sometimes he wasn't my favorite professor, the chorale and being able to go sing was sometimes the only reason I was able to make myself get out of bed and face my day. Whether he knows that he gave that to me or not I'm not sure, but he did, and I wish I could have given him something similar.
There's no place like home?
Jul. 3rd, 2013 01:46 amLong story short: I'm back in Iowa for the foreseeable future.
( Long story NOT short... [TW: self-harm, suicidal ideation] )
( Long story NOT short... [TW: self-harm, suicidal ideation] )
(no subject)
Jul. 20th, 2012 05:10 pmSo Wednesday morning I was woken up about five by immense pain. I knew there was no way I was going to make it until nine when the surgeon's office opened, so I went back to the ER. I spent all day getting shuttled around and having tests and I had my gall bladder taken out that night.
I am now at home, resting. I'm tender on my abdomen, since they cut holes in me and pumped me full of gas and moved my innards around, but I feel so much better. Like I told Kitty, I am no longer going to be a crabby bitch because I'm in pain and can't eat anything. Moving around is a little easier today than it was yesterday and I have some good drugs.
So. That is what the life has been lately.
I am now at home, resting. I'm tender on my abdomen, since they cut holes in me and pumped me full of gas and moved my innards around, but I feel so much better. Like I told Kitty, I am no longer going to be a crabby bitch because I'm in pain and can't eat anything. Moving around is a little easier today than it was yesterday and I have some good drugs.
So. That is what the life has been lately.
(no subject)
Jul. 17th, 2012 07:44 pmSo I tried to make an appointment with a family practitioner today because I have had heartburn/nausea on and off since Thursday and now it's tender in my upper abdomen. But the lady at the doctor advised me to go to the ER. After talking to like four different people to ensure that I was still covered by the school insurance I went to the ER. They think I may have gallstones, I have to follow up with surgery people within seven days. Which is to say they will determine if I need surgery or not.
I'm supposed to be moving on August 1. I hope I don't need surgery but honestly I'd let them cut off my arm if that would make me feel better. I'm sleep-deprived because this keeps me up since it hurts. Because I'm tired I kept crying in the ER and they kept asking if it was because I was in pain. Which I appreciate and suppose is their job.
At least they didn't take a look at me and decide I was having trouble because I'm fat. Which, you know, I'm sure doesn't help but I have been careful about what I'm eating and what I'm doing. I still do pizza but not as often and not as much at a time; I cut back on soda (which is my real Achilles heel), and in general have just tried to eat less more often, stay upright after meals for at least a couple of hours (which is hard to do when your two pieces of furniture are a really uncomfortable chair and your bed). When I went to see a doctor in student health back in November I got the "diet and exercise" talk, broke down, and wound up with more prozac. Like yeah, I'm sure my life would be much easier and my health probably would be better if I weren't as heavy as I am, but I can't fix that over night.
Oh well. My mom had her gall bladder taken out when I was in elementary school, so I'm not super shocked that this is a problem I would have. It just sucks.
I'm supposed to be moving on August 1. I hope I don't need surgery but honestly I'd let them cut off my arm if that would make me feel better. I'm sleep-deprived because this keeps me up since it hurts. Because I'm tired I kept crying in the ER and they kept asking if it was because I was in pain. Which I appreciate and suppose is their job.
At least they didn't take a look at me and decide I was having trouble because I'm fat. Which, you know, I'm sure doesn't help but I have been careful about what I'm eating and what I'm doing. I still do pizza but not as often and not as much at a time; I cut back on soda (which is my real Achilles heel), and in general have just tried to eat less more often, stay upright after meals for at least a couple of hours (which is hard to do when your two pieces of furniture are a really uncomfortable chair and your bed). When I went to see a doctor in student health back in November I got the "diet and exercise" talk, broke down, and wound up with more prozac. Like yeah, I'm sure my life would be much easier and my health probably would be better if I weren't as heavy as I am, but I can't fix that over night.
Oh well. My mom had her gall bladder taken out when I was in elementary school, so I'm not super shocked that this is a problem I would have. It just sucks.
(no subject)
Jul. 9th, 2012 11:16 amI'm so scared of doing the wrong thing that I'm not doing anything.
(no subject)
Jul. 8th, 2012 08:59 pmWell today I sent $300 to Ally for my car because I thought last month my payment went through and I guess it didn't so it's two months plus late. I have a monster burn on my hand from where I touched the oven rack making dinner, and I got a private, multi-paragraph message on my Facebook reminding me what an awful person I am. So my Facebook is gone. Yeah that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't care.
I wish I still danced or twirled. I have my hobbies, writing, reading, things... but you really can't lose your mind the way that you can when you're doing something physical. I miss that kind of mindlessness, even if I wasn't any good.
I wish I still danced or twirled. I have my hobbies, writing, reading, things... but you really can't lose your mind the way that you can when you're doing something physical. I miss that kind of mindlessness, even if I wasn't any good.
(no subject)
Jun. 13th, 2012 04:49 pmMy thesis is finished. It has to have final approval and be submitted, but I think it's done. I finally have an internship with a wonderful company called Your Name Here. This company does queer theatre and I was excited. They're excited to have me. It's amazing.
FIC: So Darkness I Became [AU]
May. 29th, 2012 08:40 pmTitle: So Darkness I Became
Characters/Pairings: Loki/Sigyn (Marvel movieverse. Ish).
Word Count: 2,034.
Rating: PG.
Summary: The stars, the moon / They have all been blown out / You left me in the dark.
"And are you suggesting that this would win me their love?" He spits the word out as though it tastes foul, and perhaps it does -- he has no use for it, save for hers, which is frustratingly constant and steady.
"I am suggesting that it would not hurt," she replies, her hands small and warm on his cheeks.
He despises how he feels so unworthy beside her.
Author's Notes: From this Avengers commentfic fest, a prompt from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
river_soul: "AU - Loki wins and brings his fair bride to see the world he's won." My apologies for fucking with timelines, if that is indeed what I am doing -- but the Marvel Movieverse is a canon in and of itself that I don't feel too awful taking what I want from comics/mythology and leaving the rest. I'm sorry if this impedes anyone from enjoying the story, but I wanted to write something compelling above everything else. ♥ So enjoy anyway.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. But why is it when Joss Whedon writers Avengers fanfic he makes a billion dollars and when I do it it's borderline copyright infringement? Think about that, internet.
( Sigyn arrives on Earth like a queen should. Her dress is the color of the night sky, her bright, pale hair like the tail of a comet, decorated with stones that twinkle and shine like a constellation. )
Characters/Pairings: Loki/Sigyn (Marvel movieverse. Ish).
Word Count: 2,034.
Rating: PG.
Summary: The stars, the moon / They have all been blown out / You left me in the dark.
"And are you suggesting that this would win me their love?" He spits the word out as though it tastes foul, and perhaps it does -- he has no use for it, save for hers, which is frustratingly constant and steady.
"I am suggesting that it would not hurt," she replies, her hands small and warm on his cheeks.
He despises how he feels so unworthy beside her.
Author's Notes: From this Avengers commentfic fest, a prompt from
river_soul: "AU - Loki wins and brings his fair bride to see the world he's won." My apologies for fucking with timelines, if that is indeed what I am doing -- but the Marvel Movieverse is a canon in and of itself that I don't feel too awful taking what I want from comics/mythology and leaving the rest. I'm sorry if this impedes anyone from enjoying the story, but I wanted to write something compelling above everything else. ♥ So enjoy anyway.Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. But why is it when Joss Whedon writers Avengers fanfic he makes a billion dollars and when I do it it's borderline copyright infringement? Think about that, internet.
( Sigyn arrives on Earth like a queen should. Her dress is the color of the night sky, her bright, pale hair like the tail of a comet, decorated with stones that twinkle and shine like a constellation. )
(no subject)
May. 14th, 2012 02:38 pmI "graduate" on Friday and I don't feel very well. I say "graduate" because I have an extension to finish my thesis and an I for my professional internship and I'm paralyzed into being unable to do anything. Becky told me the other day that she and Chris don't get it, because I'm one of the smartest and most hard working people in the program and people should be fighting over me. Except they're not.
There's a blonde joke that starts, a blonde was praying to God to win the lottery. She prayed and visited the sick and did charity and prayed and prayed and prayed but never won, and she finally shouts to God, "WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING ME WIN?" And God answers, "You gotta meet me halfway, sweetheart. You have to buy a lottery ticket." There's probably some details in there that I missed but whatever, the idea stands. I am meeting halfway. I am sending out my resume, I am getting interviews, but I am getting NOTHING after. Not even a courteous "I'm sorry but we decided to go with someone else" half the time.
If people should be fighting over me and aren't, then why aren't they?
Sometimes I find myself in a mood where I don't know who I am. I don't mean existentially, I mean I no longer feel like myself and who I perceive myself to be. I feel like another person but this other person is only defined by what they aren't rather than what they are. I feel dissociated but not... I just feel like a shell that lacks a hermit crab.
Upside of life, I saw The Avengers. It was exactly as awesome as I thought it was going to be. I predict a resurgence in the use of the word "quim." Shakespeare would be proud.
There's a blonde joke that starts, a blonde was praying to God to win the lottery. She prayed and visited the sick and did charity and prayed and prayed and prayed but never won, and she finally shouts to God, "WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING ME WIN?" And God answers, "You gotta meet me halfway, sweetheart. You have to buy a lottery ticket." There's probably some details in there that I missed but whatever, the idea stands. I am meeting halfway. I am sending out my resume, I am getting interviews, but I am getting NOTHING after. Not even a courteous "I'm sorry but we decided to go with someone else" half the time.
If people should be fighting over me and aren't, then why aren't they?
Sometimes I find myself in a mood where I don't know who I am. I don't mean existentially, I mean I no longer feel like myself and who I perceive myself to be. I feel like another person but this other person is only defined by what they aren't rather than what they are. I feel dissociated but not... I just feel like a shell that lacks a hermit crab.
Upside of life, I saw The Avengers. It was exactly as awesome as I thought it was going to be. I predict a resurgence in the use of the word "quim." Shakespeare would be proud.
