The Icon Faerie

A List of Things That Have Happened in the last 72ish Hours:

1. I saw Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark 2.0. General impression: I like what it became. It’s very cohesive, and different. Some things I don’t like so much, but I’m trying to be vigilant of what I genuinely didn’t like or what is a knee jerk reaction in response to missing the old.

2. I saw my aunt and met her sisters. I say her sisters because she’s not a blood relative, but she was married to my uncle for the 20ish years before they divorced. So we kept her. I’d met one sister before, and I didn’t even know there were two more. But they were awesome, and I love my aunt.

3. We saw a comedy show at The Comic Strip in the city — headliner Bill Bailey. I freaked out and they were like, “Uh we have no idea who this is but awesome,” but he was great. Most of the other comics were also funny although a couple were just awful. And one lifted Victor Borge’s vocal punctuation routine, so I was Not Impressed.

4. I met a nice guy who is a friend of Bee’s friend and was in the apartment when she arrived on Friday. XD He was super sweet. We’re going to hang out.

5. Bee and I also made friends with an usher at the Foxwood — he was hilarious. He was on top of the asshats taking pictures in the theatre and at one point said, “The ONLY PERSON who can take pictures in this theatre is PETER PARKER.” And lo, I LOL’d. Loudly. and then we gave props to one of the security guys at the stage door because he had to announce that Reeve Carney wasn’t signing that night. (Which is probably for the best.) He was joking with the other security guy and asked, “Why do I have to give the bad news?” We told him that we had his back. And I so would have. I mean, the guy is just doing his job, and Reeve just put on a hell of a show, so like. Sit down and shut up, you know? Stage dooring is cool and all, I love it as much as the next person, but I paid to see the show and once the show’s over, everything else is sprinkles… but people can be asshats. And somehow I missed Chris Tierney so I have to go back so I can worship properly.

7. I also got lost because apparently there was like, no G train service this weekend which was what I was going to take to Atlantic Terminal. Except that didn’t work, I ended up blindly taking a C to a nearby station and poking my head into convenience stores asking if I was headed in the right direction.

6. I took the LIRR four times. I made my train at Atlantic terminal that should have put me back in Ronkonkoma at 1:35, which should have let me be on time for work at 2, but. :\ No such luck. There were signal problems and the train was late. I rolled in to work at 2:30. I called them once I knew I was going to be late, so they were not bovvered forsooth.

7. I wept bitter, bitter tears because I was exhausted and having a my-life-is-going-nowhere moment.

Fuck depression.

Yesterday was a great day. I was in the city that I love, and I got to partake in two pieces of theatre. I saw The Addams Family at the matinee, which was decent. I can see why it was panned, but it was fun. Nathan Lane is a scream, Bebe Neuwirth is great, Terence Mann is a GOD, Carolee Carmello is like three inches around and she has a huge voice. Krysta Rodriguez is a powerhouse, and Wesley Taylor is adorable.

And I got to sit third row at Spider-Man. In short, they were looking to fill the orchestra seat they hadn't sold so I got upgraded for free and it was basically awesome. I have no more face because it has been rocked off. They changed a lot, and is ultimately better for it. The second act especially is much tighter and clearer. I stagedoored and told any of the people who would listen that. I seriously can't wait to go back and again... I'm a stan, deal with it.

So I was in a great place when I got home last night and drifted off to sleep. I had a great dream. I had my dream job in my city, there was a man who loved me, and it was quite literally my dream life. It was so real that when I woke up I was confused. Where was I? What day was it? No seriously where the fuck was I? And as I woke up more, I realized that I was coming back to reality. Awake.

And then I had the moment when I was lying in bed when I was just disappointed, because I was awake and none of that was true. Then the little voice started: Life is never going to be that good.

I'm not unhappy. I'm not. Sure I'm not living the dream, but I'm where I need to be, I think, emotionally and physically. I don't have a lot of very close friends, but the ones I do have are amazing. I decided I wasn't going to let the Dark Passenger win today. I wasn't going to let a stupid voice in the back of my head dictate how I was going to feel about today.

Well. It didn't work. But I did try.

So, I officially quit life on Sunday after my grandmother sent me a forward that started with a rape joke. (If you rape a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? GET IT? SINCE PROSTITUTES ARE PAID FOR SEX WHEN YOU TAKE IT WITHOUT PAYING, IT'S SHOPLIFTING. HUR HUR.) I replied all and said, "It's rape. Also it's not funny. I thought a former cop would know better." (It was forwarded to her by an online friend who is a former cop.) I haven't heard from her since then so my guess is that she's pulling the "Well, I'm old, and I get to say what I want because I was brought up ~in a different time." Yeah, that old chestnut. GRANDMA. YOU WERE BORN IN 1935, BUT THE ACTUAL FOR REALS MIDDLE AGES. Whatever. She also says "coloreds" and "the gays" and I know I should feel bad because she doesn't get around so well and is probably lonely, puttering around her house all day, but I really don't think that's an excuse. And it makes me mad.

So I quit life around 9:45 AM, climbed into the shower and cried until I ran out of hot water, and then climbed back into bed and started rewatching Ugly Betty. But it really wasn't just that. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

This whole business with Gabrielle Giffords and the assassination attempt has just left me heartsick and upset. (I will admit to having The Ballad of Czolgoz and the rest of Assassins running through my head for most of the day on Saturday; I am not a perfect person.) I watched the guy's YouTube channel and it's way fucking creepier than any horror movie I've ever seen. The fact that one of the people dead is a nine year old girl who had just been elected to her student council and taken because she was interested in public service and things of that nature AND had been born on 9/11 (ACTUAL 9/11, not a 9/11 since then, HER MOTHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL GIVING BIRTH ON 9/11/2001) is just the frosting on a very depressing cake.

Then I find out that Sarah Palin had a campaign ad that was basically a hit list and a map with crosshairs on the congressional districts of those on the list and Gabrielle Giffords was on that list. I was disgusted but unfortunately not shocked. And I know that Sarah Palin didn't put the gun in the guy's hand and say "Go for it!" but if I had made that list and that map, we would not be having this conversation right now because the FBI would have broken a land speed record getting to my house AND I WOULD NOW BE IN FBI CUSTODY. You know what, I damn well don't care about Sarah Palin. My hatred peaked sometime last year and right now I'm just sick of her. I think she's stupid and irrelevant at best and dangerous at worst. When you tell your followers to reload, not retreat and show them a hitlist of politicians you don't like, well... even if the Loughner guy didn't care about her, she needs to be fucking called out to explain herself for that ad.

And it's not just her. Everyone who adds to the rhetoric of hate in this country needs to STOP IT and first of all, use their words, and second of all, USE WORDS THAT DON'T INCITE VIOLENCE AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. I'll be first to admit I'm guilty of it, and it's usually in hyperbole -- how many times this semester did I say I was going to fucking kill my kids? I would never actually. But if all 35 of them had suddenly wound up DEAD I would have been the link between them all and I would have looked pretty damn guilty. At the risk of sounding stupid... with great power comes great responsibility. And your words mean something.

Also, whoever it is that tweets as President Bartlet just made me angry by refusing to acknowledge Sarah Palin should be held responsible. (Toby Ziegler, however, did not disappoint me. Toby has always held a place in my heart, the old curmudgeon. ♥) Seriously, stop turning my fictional hero into an apologist. (I know he's not REAL or anything, so this is kind of stupid, but seriously. bad_rpers_suck, that's all I'm saying.

Also in the Disappointing Me Thoroughly camp is Jonathan Mandell, aka NewYorkTheater. He writes about theatre for an independent online news source, and occasionally has quoted me in his articles for some of the off the cuff things I say about theatre. I generally like and agree with things that he has to say and quite frankly it's nice to be able to tweet theatre at someone who will tweet you back (although I have had certain people Tweet me back before -- not the point). BUT.

Recently, Bono saw Spider-Man for the first time. Awesome, right? Well. Jenn Damiano was apparently quoted as saying that he had enjoyed himself watching the show. (I am paraphrasing here, but that is pretty much what was said.) Things went apeshit. I was like, "Aw, that's great!" and Mandell tweeted, "He shouldn't be enjoying the show, he should be working on it so WE can enjoy it." (Again, I'm paraphrasing, but that is very close to the actual wording.)

Uh, first of all:
1. That is the most entitled, audience-centric thing I have heard in a long time, and
2. So artists aren't allowed to take pleasure in what they produce?
3. When I saw it, the music wasn't what I thought needed working on.

I tweeted as much to him (well, the second point, I couldn't find a nice way to phrase the first one and the third one is just a can of worms) and he replied (see, so at least he replied) that, "it implies he's a spectator and not an active member of the process." Um. Well, now I think people are just looking for something to bitch about for Spider-Man since nobody else has been injured and reviews aren't officially being made until the show opens next month. Way to take something an actress said and blow it out of proportion.

Anyway. Better news! I hear they're working on a new finale, and T.V Carpio became Arachne. I feel honored to have seen it as early as I did (the fourth preview) and can't wait to go back. Also, Michael Mayer and Billie Joe Armstrong are talking about making American Idiot into a movie (which could be awesome or be horrible) and want to work on an original project together. I hope he remembers my resume. :x