The Icon Faerie

So, I officially quit life on Sunday after my grandmother sent me a forward that started with a rape joke. (If you rape a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? GET IT? SINCE PROSTITUTES ARE PAID FOR SEX WHEN YOU TAKE IT WITHOUT PAYING, IT'S SHOPLIFTING. HUR HUR.) I replied all and said, "It's rape. Also it's not funny. I thought a former cop would know better." (It was forwarded to her by an online friend who is a former cop.) I haven't heard from her since then so my guess is that she's pulling the "Well, I'm old, and I get to say what I want because I was brought up ~in a different time." Yeah, that old chestnut. GRANDMA. YOU WERE BORN IN 1935, BUT THE ACTUAL FOR REALS MIDDLE AGES. Whatever. She also says "coloreds" and "the gays" and I know I should feel bad because she doesn't get around so well and is probably lonely, puttering around her house all day, but I really don't think that's an excuse. And it makes me mad.

So I quit life around 9:45 AM, climbed into the shower and cried until I ran out of hot water, and then climbed back into bed and started rewatching Ugly Betty. But it really wasn't just that. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

This whole business with Gabrielle Giffords and the assassination attempt has just left me heartsick and upset. (I will admit to having The Ballad of Czolgoz and the rest of Assassins running through my head for most of the day on Saturday; I am not a perfect person.) I watched the guy's YouTube channel and it's way fucking creepier than any horror movie I've ever seen. The fact that one of the people dead is a nine year old girl who had just been elected to her student council and taken because she was interested in public service and things of that nature AND had been born on 9/11 (ACTUAL 9/11, not a 9/11 since then, HER MOTHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL GIVING BIRTH ON 9/11/2001) is just the frosting on a very depressing cake.

Then I find out that Sarah Palin had a campaign ad that was basically a hit list and a map with crosshairs on the congressional districts of those on the list and Gabrielle Giffords was on that list. I was disgusted but unfortunately not shocked. And I know that Sarah Palin didn't put the gun in the guy's hand and say "Go for it!" but if I had made that list and that map, we would not be having this conversation right now because the FBI would have broken a land speed record getting to my house AND I WOULD NOW BE IN FBI CUSTODY. You know what, I damn well don't care about Sarah Palin. My hatred peaked sometime last year and right now I'm just sick of her. I think she's stupid and irrelevant at best and dangerous at worst. When you tell your followers to reload, not retreat and show them a hitlist of politicians you don't like, well... even if the Loughner guy didn't care about her, she needs to be fucking called out to explain herself for that ad.

And it's not just her. Everyone who adds to the rhetoric of hate in this country needs to STOP IT and first of all, use their words, and second of all, USE WORDS THAT DON'T INCITE VIOLENCE AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. I'll be first to admit I'm guilty of it, and it's usually in hyperbole -- how many times this semester did I say I was going to fucking kill my kids? I would never actually. But if all 35 of them had suddenly wound up DEAD I would have been the link between them all and I would have looked pretty damn guilty. At the risk of sounding stupid... with great power comes great responsibility. And your words mean something.

Also, whoever it is that tweets as President Bartlet just made me angry by refusing to acknowledge Sarah Palin should be held responsible. (Toby Ziegler, however, did not disappoint me. Toby has always held a place in my heart, the old curmudgeon. ♥) Seriously, stop turning my fictional hero into an apologist. (I know he's not REAL or anything, so this is kind of stupid, but seriously. bad_rpers_suck, that's all I'm saying.

Also in the Disappointing Me Thoroughly camp is Jonathan Mandell, aka NewYorkTheater. He writes about theatre for an independent online news source, and occasionally has quoted me in his articles for some of the off the cuff things I say about theatre. I generally like and agree with things that he has to say and quite frankly it's nice to be able to tweet theatre at someone who will tweet you back (although I have had certain people Tweet me back before -- not the point). BUT.

Recently, Bono saw Spider-Man for the first time. Awesome, right? Well. Jenn Damiano was apparently quoted as saying that he had enjoyed himself watching the show. (I am paraphrasing here, but that is pretty much what was said.) Things went apeshit. I was like, "Aw, that's great!" and Mandell tweeted, "He shouldn't be enjoying the show, he should be working on it so WE can enjoy it." (Again, I'm paraphrasing, but that is very close to the actual wording.)

Uh, first of all:
1. That is the most entitled, audience-centric thing I have heard in a long time, and
2. So artists aren't allowed to take pleasure in what they produce?
3. When I saw it, the music wasn't what I thought needed working on.

I tweeted as much to him (well, the second point, I couldn't find a nice way to phrase the first one and the third one is just a can of worms) and he replied (see, so at least he replied) that, "it implies he's a spectator and not an active member of the process." Um. Well, now I think people are just looking for something to bitch about for Spider-Man since nobody else has been injured and reviews aren't officially being made until the show opens next month. Way to take something an actress said and blow it out of proportion.

Anyway. Better news! I hear they're working on a new finale, and T.V Carpio became Arachne. I feel honored to have seen it as early as I did (the fourth preview) and can't wait to go back. Also, Michael Mayer and Billie Joe Armstrong are talking about making American Idiot into a movie (which could be awesome or be horrible) and want to work on an original project together. I hope he remembers my resume. :x

( To Do )

Val and I went to see New Moon because her roommates bought tickets but then they didn't want to go. It was DEFINITELY worth it. I actually liked it better than the first one, I thought it was a lot better. I credit this to the fact that they had a bigger budget and they didn't put that nasty blue filter on everything. MICHAEL SHEEN was everything I could have wanted in an Aro and more. I'll stop myself there, but. Wow. VOLTERRA WAS VOLTERRA! THE SNOZZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZZBERRIES! And the ending was perfect. XD

Perhaps even better was the impromptu theatre that was created when the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the theatre. First, some people refused to leave the theatre, and then the epic whining began while we were waiting outside for the firetrucks to do their thing. We eventually got to go back in and. Well:
[02:39] dramaturgy: Oh god. And then we were being let back in the theatre, so we were waiting for the movie to get started again.
[02:39] dramaturgy: When this group of tweens in the middle of the theatre start "ED-WARD *clap clap* ED-WARD *clap clap*"
[02:39] dramaturgy: And pretty soon we get, "JA-COB *clap clap* JA-COB *clap clap"
[02:40] thinkatory: *dead*
[02:40] dramaturgy: I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP, KITTY.
[02:40] thinkatory: SO DO I
[02:40] thinkatory: OH MY GOD YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
[02:40] thinkatory: That is. XD
[02:41] dramaturgy: I was like DEAR GOD IT'S GOING TO BE A BLOODBATH.

Oh and there was more ~drama tonight. Honestly I think we're all at the end of the semester and we all need a nap and a juicebox but none of us are getting either so we're just cranky.

Received: One e-mail from Brooklyn College going "DUDE YOUR APPLICATION IS INCOMPLETE ARE YOU GONNA APPLY?"
Wasted: Five minutes going "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, DON'T ANY OF YOU PEOPLE TALK WITH ONE ANOTHER?" Now I know why there are so many Brooklyn jokes. BECAUSE THEY ALL DESERVE THEM.
Sent: One e-mail from me explaining the situation as I understood it, including pertinent details of my road trip to Coe last week.
Still Worried About: Whether or not my checking account is going to be empty when they ACTUALLY STOP HOLDING ON TO MY CHECK. I hate my life.

I repeat. I am never getting into grad school.

I'm not feeling well today. And I'm hungryish but a) I can't get up from the couch to find anything and b) if I eat a big something I'll ruin dinner. If there is dinner. It's usually a 50-50 shot during the week in this house.

I'm almost finshed with the first season of Supernatural, and I love it. I love all of the Winchester boys together, all three of them. I kind of know what happens because I've been very casual about avoiding spoilers. I figured I'd see the show eventually, but I didn't know when. So yes, I love the three Winchesters, and how even though they haven't had too much screen time together, the relationship between the three of them is crystal clear -- I mean, details and all are somewhat more fuzzy. ( Cutting because I'm starting to ramble. )

Currently I'm breaking from watching Supernatural to watch Dr. Phil, and they are talking about ~*teen trends. Currently it's text messaging. This one girl sent 14,000ish text messages in a month and the parents are at a loss. HERE'S A CLUE, SHE'S THIRTEEN AND YOU'RE HER PARENTS. TAKE THE CELL PHONE AWAY. God, even I can tell you that. Honestly, I think if parents took a little responsibility for the things their kids had access to, half of the problems we have would solve themselves. Like take these questions from the mom of a teenaged boy who texted 120,000 times in three months.

"Is texting the teenage form of alcoholism?"
No. Alcoholism is the teenage form of alcoholism.

"Is this an obsessive-compulsive behavior that I should worry about?"
Seriously?

And now here's this one twelve-year-old girl who's sending nearly naked photos of herself and sending them to her boyfriend and inappropriate text messages, etc. They're worried! Of course they are.

TAKE. THE. CELL. PHONE. AWAY. Does she keep finding the phone and take it back? DESTROY IT. TERMINATE YOUR CONTRACT WITH THE COMPANY. WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Maybe this is just me speaking, but if that were me in my teenaged years -- hell, if that were me NOW -- my phone would be gone before I could even start explaining myself, and I would probably also lose other privileges. I mean, really.

For some reason, I have agreed to play Mystery Can with thinkatory. Except we added a rule that we each get to choose one thing the other person can't get, so no canned meat and no sauerkraut, lest we both barf excessively.

ETA: Okay, two new rules. The writing on the can has to be in English, inspired by this can.

Yay jaunty Captain Jack icon.

I was supposed to go in to work at three, but Frank called me at 1 asking if I could come in to cover for him until RJ got there because he was le sick or something. I didn't really listen. So I went in for about forty-five minutes until RJ got there and he said I could come back at four, so go back at four I shall.

I replaced University of Iowa with Brooklyn College CUNY, because they also have a dramaturgy program AND a theatre history/criticism program. :x I sent an e-mail to admissions asking what their policy on dual application was because I can't deciiiiiiiide mommy, I wanna do booooooooooooooth.

I was having my Waking Nightmares again. It's not a technical term, but a Waking Nightmare is those uncontrollable thoughts and worries I have about money, getting into a school, money, my brother not moving his ass to get into a real school when he's finishing his AA in the spring, money, thinkatory finishing her thesis, roseanna and her busy, busy Beeness, money, weird dreams I have, kaesa being eaten by science, and money when I am trying to sleep. My mind races and I can't sleep and I end up tossing and turning and thinking about it. And sometimes I think I should get up and read or do something until I'm ready to pass out, except it's already three in the morning and it'll take at least half an hour for my mind to slow down... I'm supposed to go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks or something, this is probably something I should mention. Except it doesn't really do any good to put me on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, does it? ... It just seems counter productive. Maybe less fluoxetine will just do the trick.

Like last night, I was going to turn the light back on and read, but I'd just finished my book. The Handmaid's Tale, if you're curious. My brother read it for a class a couple of years ago, shoved it at my mom, and she shoved it at me. I think I'm going to read The Host next.

I have these really weird dreams. Like the other night I was eating bagels in the kitchen and for some reason the Tyrells were there. Like, not even westerosorting Tyrells who at least have the virtue of being real people. No. Like Margaery and Loras Tyrell were in my kitchen, eating bagels with me. I also have a dream about this restaurant that is somewhere out in the middle of nowhere north of DeWitt, and it has not only the best chocolate milkshakes I've ever had, but their chicken is delicious and so are their french fries. I was actually convinced that this restaurant was real, but when nobody in my family knew what the hell I was talking about, I realized I'd dreamed it all.

Also, ABC cancelled Dirty Sexy Money. Which, considering how it was going, might be a good thing.

I wonder if I took the time to tally the number of users who hate the new LJ profile page (being one of them) as seen in news and lj_design, and found it to be something approaching a percentage of their users, they would listen.

I doubt it.

I hate pretending to be a responsible adult. I'm so desperately bad at it.

I was reading Stephenie Meyer's BD FAQ (here) because it was linked from F_W (I am hopelessly addicted) and I come across this gem:

Stories need conflict

WHERE WAS IT, STEPHENIE? WHERE WAS IT?

God, the more I think about it, the more it just feels like a punch in the gut.

They gave me a parking ticket for parking overnight in an overnight lot.

Ooookay.