Will: What are you doing?
Emma: I'm praying. I do it all the time in my head, but right now it's just not enough. And when I need help I know God hears me better on my knees. Something about the acoustics of the linoleum or something.

When Glee does something bad, they are very, very bad. But when they are good they are amazing.

Oh look who hasn't written in awhile... Here's a list of things in random order.

1. I got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago. I haven't shared it because I'm not super in love with it. Oh well. A benevolent being needs to just drop out of the sky and give me my perfect hair cut.

2. I saw Spider-Man for the sixth time -- this time because Matt Caplan (understudy for Spidey) took over while Matthew James Thomas (the normal alternate, he plays Peter Parker/Spider-Man during the matinees) was away. Had to go see Matt Caplan. Bitches love Matt Caplan. And he was good! I'm not sure I liked him more than Reeve in the role (in fact I know I didn't), but he brought some interesting things to the table.

3. I've made a commitment to finishing my translation of Spring Awakening by my birthday in a couple of weeks. I have eight scenes left, and quite a few of those are big ones, but I think it's doable. Once I finish the translation I can start editing it and working on the treatment for production I would like to do and work on the thesis part.

4. My Old Navy store closed and reopened at another location. We've gone ~Project One~ which for those of you not in the loop means that it's a new building, a bigger store, and a lot more freaking rules to follow. I was originally scheduled for ten hours this week, but when I went in on Monday to give them a schedule for days I would need off, I got added on Tuesday and Friday and added hours on Saturday, which will bring be between 25 and 30 hours. Whatever, it's money in the bank, but holy shit. I know things are stressful but the managers need to get off their high horses and stop giving me conflicting orders. I don't know what happens to me around hour five of a shift but I am just tired of dealing with the bullshit and I start to go a little mental. I know, I know. I work in retail. I have to be nice. But something in my brains snaps after the five hundredth person asks me, "Do you work here?" NO. I AM REFOLDING THIS TABLE OF SWEATERS FOR THE FIFTIETH TIME TODAY FOR MY HEALTH. WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH.

5. Instead of the playwriting workshop I am taking an independent study in playwriting. I am going to write a play about Vincent Van Gogh. Bitches love Vincent Van Gogh.

6. I interviewed for an internship at MCC Theatre for their playwriting lab/acting lab/education intern. I really fucking wanted this internship, because I need one, and this one was up my alley. The guy was excited because of my dramaturgy background, my education background, and the fact that I had worked with Young Playwrights Inc. Their last day for interviews was Monday so I suppose they could still be mulling over their decision but I want this so bad. Even though that gives me even less time in a week to accomplish things, I want it. I want it I want it I want it I want it I want it.

7. Speaking of an education background, my kids this semester are pretty cool. One guy sent me an e-mail after our first real class saying how much he enjoyed it, and I don't have to pull teeth to get them to talk. We're almost through September and I don't want to punch them in the throat yet, so that's good. (Except the ones that don't come to class. Why sign up if you're not going to come to class?)

8. I just have a lot of strong feelings right now and am trying not to relieve these feelings by shopping online. Because Liz, stuff does not fill your heart. Stuff does not fill the void in your life. And while we're at it, neither does food.

Title: Lovers Like Lights on a Midnight Train
Characters/Pairings: Rory Williams (AU, female), Amy Pond, the Doctor (Eleven), various OCs; Rory/Amy.
Word Count: 6,824.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Rory isn't like the other girls, and neither is Amy Pond. Is it a line to cross -- is it okay to be the queer girl's friend but too hard to be the girlfriend?
Author's Notes: This fic was spawned by a prompt on eleventy_kink. It was written and completed before "Let's Kill Hitler" aired, so there are only spoilers through "A Good Man Goes to War." One day I may fix it to fit LKH but… not today. Thanks to thinkatory for the beta job. Go read her stuff next. It's way better than mine.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Doctor Who. If I did I would stop killing Rory.

( At six, Rory plays dress up with the other girls even though she doesn't want to. She does this because her mum says it's important to take turns and that sometimes, we all do things we don't want to do. )

So I don't have much to say but I am making a post with this icon because I won't feel comfortable using it for a bit.

RIP Amy Winehouse, off to that big rehab in the sky.

I haven't written in here in a long time, because there's nothing I really want to talk about.

Bee is here in town, and by here I mean in Brooklyn and going to Cap 21 in Manhattan. I've been flip flopping back and forth between being her hausfrau and being back here on Long Island in order to work my four weekly hours at Old Navy which doesn't pay for crap. I opened a line of credit so that I can ruin my credit rating forever have some help living.

It seems like all I do is worry about money and long story short, it's fucking upsetting, right.

BUT some good news: I did get offered a REAL dramaturging job. And when I say real I mean I'm going to work with playwrights from Young Playwrights on the Urban Retreat for a couple of days. Elizabeth mentioned there was an "honorarium" for dramaturgs. So whether that means I get a sandwich and a metrocard or fifty buck I don't know.

I've been looking for more ways to make money and put in applications everywhere that's accepting them. The problem is that no one is hiring seasonal anymore and there's no way I'll be able to keep three jobs and be a student come September.

A List of Things That Have Happened in the last 72ish Hours:

1. I saw Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark 2.0. General impression: I like what it became. It’s very cohesive, and different. Some things I don’t like so much, but I’m trying to be vigilant of what I genuinely didn’t like or what is a knee jerk reaction in response to missing the old.

2. I saw my aunt and met her sisters. I say her sisters because she’s not a blood relative, but she was married to my uncle for the 20ish years before they divorced. So we kept her. I’d met one sister before, and I didn’t even know there were two more. But they were awesome, and I love my aunt.

3. We saw a comedy show at The Comic Strip in the city — headliner Bill Bailey. I freaked out and they were like, “Uh we have no idea who this is but awesome,” but he was great. Most of the other comics were also funny although a couple were just awful. And one lifted Victor Borge’s vocal punctuation routine, so I was Not Impressed.

4. I met a nice guy who is a friend of Bee’s friend and was in the apartment when she arrived on Friday. XD He was super sweet. We’re going to hang out.

5. Bee and I also made friends with an usher at the Foxwood — he was hilarious. He was on top of the asshats taking pictures in the theatre and at one point said, “The ONLY PERSON who can take pictures in this theatre is PETER PARKER.” And lo, I LOL’d. Loudly. and then we gave props to one of the security guys at the stage door because he had to announce that Reeve Carney wasn’t signing that night. (Which is probably for the best.) He was joking with the other security guy and asked, “Why do I have to give the bad news?” We told him that we had his back. And I so would have. I mean, the guy is just doing his job, and Reeve just put on a hell of a show, so like. Sit down and shut up, you know? Stage dooring is cool and all, I love it as much as the next person, but I paid to see the show and once the show’s over, everything else is sprinkles… but people can be asshats. And somehow I missed Chris Tierney so I have to go back so I can worship properly.

7. I also got lost because apparently there was like, no G train service this weekend which was what I was going to take to Atlantic Terminal. Except that didn’t work, I ended up blindly taking a C to a nearby station and poking my head into convenience stores asking if I was headed in the right direction.

6. I took the LIRR four times. I made my train at Atlantic terminal that should have put me back in Ronkonkoma at 1:35, which should have let me be on time for work at 2, but. :\ No such luck. There were signal problems and the train was late. I rolled in to work at 2:30. I called them once I knew I was going to be late, so they were not bovvered forsooth.

7. I wept bitter, bitter tears because I was exhausted and having a my-life-is-going-nowhere moment.

Not to have First World problems or anything, but my Tonys stream isn't working and there is no TV here. Because student live here to "study and relax."

So I don't mean to be a brat, but what if TV is how you relax?

I didn't want my three thousandth entry to be me whining like it usually is. I wanted to take pictures of my room in the house and talk about how well I'm doing. Fun, fulfilling internship in the city, how much I love living off campus, etc. But I don't have that. What I have is about $400 to my name and a pile of unfulfilled expectations and some scary thoughts.

I've filled out so many applications and sent out my resume so many times I've lost count looking for a second job. I've stopped hoping for something that is actually at my level and am looking at McDonalds, Best Buy, and Home Depot. Everything else requires experience that I don't have. I worked four hours last week, four tonight, and I'm not scheduled for any next week. I probably won't have any the week after either, because I booked Friday off so I could welcome Bee to the city.

The house is... fine. I have housemates whose parents didn't seem to teach them that if it's not yours you shouldn't fucking touch it, but that I can deal with. What I can't deal with is this faffing about with the wireless. I am not a person who asks for much but when I have a shitty day (which I am having a lot of these days) all I want to do is curl up, watch some videos of kittens on YouTube, and then refresh Tumblr until it shows me something exciting. So in conclusion if it's not broke, DON'T FIX IT.

So I'm in the office right now, where it is unbearably warm and my desk chair is fucking uncomfortable, but my internet is stable. Priorities, I guess.

I basically want to quit school or take a leave of absence for a year and not be run off my feet. I hate being an adult; I'm not any good at it and it's really fucking exhausting pretending that I know what I'm doing and to not burst into tears even though that's all I want to do. But I guess I shouldn't worry about it since I don't actually have anywhere to be for at least a week. I feel like I'm drowning and I'd really like to know what I'm doing here. People can tell me "No" all the time and I can get myself wound up until I puke perfectly fine in Iowa. There has to be a reason I'm here.

I'm going to bed broken hearted and I don't care who knows it.

I'm sure people who follow me on multiple sites are sick of seeing this, but OMG THE JUJAMCYN THEATERS PEOPLE E-MAILED ME FOR AN INTERVIEW. I could be a theater operations intern with one of the three major producing organizations in the city. It's not artistic but I DON'T CARE. I love doing anything having to do with theatre. I am excited. Cross your fingers.

Also, OMG CASTLE. ALL MY CREYS.