dramaturgy: (<3)
I'm forcing myself to write here. I'm not losing interest, I'm just lazy. I have to get this speech done tonight, and I'm just not feeling up to it.

Monday was fun. We went to the music festival at Clarke College, and a girl named Velvette (really) randomly attached herself to us. It was fun. Burned Alex so many times I'm surprised he had a shred of dignity left to cling to.

Got much mail today. Letter from Coe that told me to expect word on my scholarships in about a month. Acceptance letters from Simpson and University of Iowa also.
dramaturgy: (Default)
Um. Am back.

Camp was fine. The music is the most difficult it has been in a long time. Brahms fried my brain. Seriously. If I have to sing "Schlicksalslied" one more time my head might explode. Same with "Sensemaya". Waah.
dramaturgy: (Default)
I have shed many tears in pain, sadness, disappointment, humiliation, and anger, but I think today was the first time in most recent memory I shed tears because of resentment and hate. Hate of myself, Mrs. Dean, Rachel, Katie, and anyone else's name that was on that God damned call back sheet.

Obviously, Mrs. Dean has no intention of letting me into chamber choir. Not now, not ever. I am half-considering taking myself out of choir for next year and taking some completely worthless classes such as Foods or Clothing. Seriously. Throw myself into band and give choir the old fashioned one-fingered salute.

I'm sick from keeping myself from bursting into tears whenever I think about it. Because my dad wouldn't care, my brother and sister would roll their eyes, and my mom would try and pet me and tell me it's all right -- but it's not all right. Not at all. I'm tired of being told I'm not good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not anything enough.

So in the eternal words of the Metatron, "I'm pissed off, is what I am!" No. Beyond pissed off. Irate. Ready to kill.

I don't think Rachel realizes how hard it is to be her friend sometimes. My mom said, "Rachel has a wonderful, clear, uncluttered soprano voice." Uh, thanks mom. Like I don't know that. She told me I have a "superior intellect". Fine. But what good is a superior intellect IF NOBODY WILL FUCKING LISTEN TO ME?

I need a fucking huge vacation away from this wide-spot-in-the-road bedroom dot on the map known as DeWitt.

'Life as a Movie' soundtrack )
dramaturgy: (Giggle)
Today started out dismally. Not only did I go to the doctor and discover that my sore throat isn't a sore throat at all, I have an inflammation of the thyroid gland. And then they had to take blood for a blood test. And make no mistake, I hate needles with a bloody passion (no pun intended).

Auditions for this afternoon went well, except poor Joe and Alex got so down on themselves because Joe doesn't know the tenor part of "The Star-Spangled Banner" and some of the notes on the main audition piece were out of his range. I tried to make them feel better, hell, what're friends for?

And then I got home after school and the lady from Blimpie's called and I'm going in tomorrow for an interview type thing. ::bounces:: I might have a job! Am so excited!
dramaturgy: (Default)
School was long. I got a II on speech. I was incredibly bitter at the chamber choir. I screwed up on the last song and got yelled at by a senior whose panties are obviously too tight (which is amazing because I would have sworn up and down she didn't wear any).

My life is so depressingly predictable sometimes, its pathetic.
dramaturgy: (Default)
Grr. Argh. Chamber singers.

What? Me, bitter?

Hell yes.

I have accomplished absolutely nothing today. No ficlets, no homework, no nothing. Just a stupid family Christmas party (at a gun club, yes, we are hicks) with stupid people and having me missing my friends (on and off line).

I just want to go to bed and skip right to Friday.
dramaturgy: (Default)
Have finished article and letter to the editor about Andrew Carnegie in three hours. Damn I'm good at this procrastinating stuff.

Anyway, not so good at basic algebra. ::cough:: i.e. "The height of the Statue of Liberty is 93m. This is about 0.27 the height of the Hancock Bulding in Chicago. What is the approximate height of the Hancock Building."

ExCUSE me?

Also, "Checkmate" wallpaper is gone. Knew it wouldn't last.

And, I have a new nickname. I am the Soprano from Hell (because Dan said so). Fear me.
dramaturgy: (Default)
Why I'm in A Very Bad Mood:

1. No sleep (this is really okay with me mentally, I'd rather stay up and wibble with you all anyday).
2. Missed all state practice
3. Didn't get LA homework done.
4. Had shittiest parking space in a mile range of the school.
5. At the end of first block my chest was getting tight and I couldn't breathe well. Haven't felt well since.
6. I have a COLD.
7. Dentist. Enough said.

What kind of fucking idiot enjoys having their teeth cleaned?
dramaturgy: (Default)

What revolution are You?
Made by altern_active


Returned to church choir tonight. Full of t00bs who would like to think they can sing. Fuck.
dramaturgy: (Default)
I got back to the sad news that Alphabet's (on the Good Ship) brother died this weekend from an asthma attack. I hate being so far from all my friends, even though she lives closer than most. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

AH I had the best time at music camp! That all state music is something else. *stabs "Te Deum", subtitled "227 ways to torture your students"* Te Deum is nothing but 227 measures and 32 pages of high latin and funky rhythm. Not to mention, torture. Ahh, but it was great. I just had so much fun hanging out with all the people... its indescribable. I talked with Kait and Rachel non-stop about musicals. She drew my attention to a cool Sondheim musical called "The Evening Primrose". Whee.

Oh, and guys? We're still idiots. But I love you anyway. :)

kick me

May. 21st, 2002 08:13 pm
dramaturgy: (Anakin)
Curses the day my genetics proclaimed me a procrastinator. I have a project due on Friday that involves a trophic triangle and a model. Curse biology to the fiery pits of Sauron and be done with it.

I can't wait for school to get out. Only 5 more days, and I'll be an upperclassman. Only 3 more days of chamber singers tryouts. I said it wouldn't kill me if I didn't make the dance team, and it didn't. But if I don't make chamber singers, I'll cry. But I've been crying lately anyway. Damn my hormones.

Why I was crying too much...cut because of AOTC spoiler )

Profile

dramaturgy: (Default)
dramaturgy

May 2017

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 11th, 2025 03:11 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios