(no subject)

Ugh. This week has been a waste.

I left my kids in class like thirty-five minutes left in class because they weren't discussing shit. I don't get it. We had another awful discussion for Ghosts, Mother Courage and Her Children went really well, and then Next to Normal was okay. If they didn't read that was their own fault, but if it's mine, I just don't know what to do. hnnnnngh. I just packed up my shit and asked if they had any questions. Nobody raised a hand or anything so I said, "I'll take that as a no. I'll see you Monday."

I just don't have the energy to drive the discussion bus all by myself today. By the time I got home I had an e-mail from a student saying she felt bad about how class ended (good, they all should) and it's not my fault, that no one speaks up in any of her classes and mostly TAs just call on people from the attendance list until someone answers. I don't WANT to be that kind of teacher.

I guess I have seen too many movies. Because I thought I could beat the system and be a good teacher. But teaching is more like throwing spaghetti at a wall... you hope something sticks. And I thought I could be that person who got jobs because SHE was good enough, not because someone she knew made a phone call.

Yeah. Definitely too many movies.