dramaturgy | (no subject)

I live in New York. My family lives in Iowa. I am in my last year of grad school, and being able to go home for my winter break (December 15-January 23) is important to me. Like, it is actually beyond important right now, for my mental health. I'm not even kidding when I tell you that I've spent so much time in student health this week that the girl at the desk on the second floor (Psychological Health Services) knows me on sight. Long story short, my anxiety finally got the better of me, and I broke down a bit.

Now for the retail job. I work at New Army, that clothing retailer famous for their dirt cheap flip flops, performance fleece, and fuck knows what else. I spoke to my manager all the way back in mid-October about being able to go home for this sixish weeks. There was much hemming and hawing about, "Oh, well, it depends on what kind of holiday hires we can get, when I can let you go, etc. etc." So I figure, whatever. I don't care if I don't get to leave right on the 15th. I drive back (cheaper than flying and when I get there I have my own wheels!) so I have some freedom there. I just want to be home in time for Christmas Eve, which would probably mean the 22nd at the latest (although I would obviously prefer earlier). I told her no problem, see what they could come up with, she would try, and I'd hear from her about mid-November.

Needless to say, mid-November came and went and I heard nothing. So I called this morning to check, and her answer? "December 24th."

I was speechless. I literally did not know what to say to that. I reminded her about my school break and how my family doesn't freaking LIVE HERE, and she maintained. Like, I get it. She has to look out for the company and make sure there are enough people to cover everything -- this has been an ongoing struggle since we went Project One back in September. I reminded her about my school break, and it seemed like this was the first time I told her. She's a busy person with a lot on her mind, but I have a freakish memory for detail and... I guess I'm just slightly baffled when things like that slip with other people.

So I get off the phone because fuck I don't know what else to say, and I realize that I won't be even LEAVING for home until the 24th, and I have no confidence whatsoever that I will get all the time in January. Or even once I come back, time for the production I'm directing, time to write my thesis, time for my professional internship. And if I were working an amount of time that would make it worth staying, I probably would, without complaint. But I worked zero hours last week (my Black Friday midday shift got CUT. Let that sink in for a moment), zero hours this week, and I'm scheduled for four next Saturday. Admittedly, my availability isn't the greatest since I have school and I teach, but there are three ENTIRE days where I'm open, and a couple evenings as well.

When it comes to it, I am considering quitting. Because frankly, the fewer stressors I have in my life the better off I'll be, and I need time away from here more than I need anything else. At the same time I'm one of those people who doesn't like to abandon a sinking ship. I will feel bad if I decide to quit and I will probably even cry when I do it, but I know that I have to look out for me. I still feel bad. My head is going to explode from the conflicting logic and feelings.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*hugs* Honestly, I would quit. If you're already visiting Health Services that much, you need a break, and a job where the managers refuse to work with you is not worth risking your health anymore. The fact that they're not scheduling you now is weird and leaves me wondering if other people asked off for around Christmas and were approved because your manager possibly forgot that you asked first--? At any rate, it is a hard decision, but my vote is on quitting, especially with all the other stuff you have to do(thesis, directing, etc).

Well I guess quitting comes down to how much stress the job gives you vs how much stress not having a job would give you. And speaking from a recruiting/job-hunting perspective, once you leave the work force it's a lot harder to get back into it.

I would mention it to Psych Services and do whatever they advise. It sounds like they know you pretty well (which is great! It's great to have that personal connection) and should be able to steer you in the right direction.

Either way, on Monday it's December 5 already and that's less than 20 days until December 24. Also I personally find that the less time I am in the Midwest the better, because if I'm there too long, I start missing the big city and that's no good either. :)

That's BS! If they can afford to cut your shift on Black Friday - a crazy shopping day - then surely the company's future doesn't depend you being there on Christmas eve, when you should be at home, unwinding and spending time with your family.

If I were you, I'd call her again and tell her that you need to leave on the 22nd at the very latest, remind her that you requested it ages ago, and that if it can't be arranged, you're prepared to quit because you need the family time and the time off work for your health.

It's a good thing to have a job but you can't keep it at the cost of your health and your happiness!

THIS. Seriously, they can't find anyone who'd be willing to pick up that time, they have to foist it off on the person who wants to be home for Christmas and whose family lives that far away? No.