dramaturgy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dramaturgy) wrote2006-08-04 03:57 pm
dramaturgy) wrote2006-08-04 03:57 pm
Can I go die now?
*SCREAMS*
I opened. That shift at my McDonalds is 6-2. Not my favorite shift, but I'd rather get up early and be there until the afternoon. But I SWEAR all the asshats came out today with their teeth bared.
- So, this isn't really a customers suck, but definitely a suck. We had a breakfast rush starting about 6:20. When I was the only one in the store to do front counter and drive. Cars were backed up, there were about ten people in the lobby, and the kitchen person wound up doing some front counter and collecting, filling in wherever I wasn't. But we only had one walk out. IT SUCKED.
- No, I don't have change for your $100. Why? BECAUSE THE STORE OPENED 25 MINUTES AGO AND PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PAYING ME IN FIVES.
- I had no less than five (I don't know that it was more than that, but definitely no less) say "OMG I DON'T NEED THE COFFEE!" And then I had to schpiel about them about how if they got a drink of lesser value with their meal than the coffee the prices on the menu board are based on, I had to charge them for the small coffee and then whatever drink they actually wanted (usually milk or a SMALL SODA, NO I DON'T NEED A MEDIUM I WON'T DRINK IT ALL I NEED A SMALL!), promo their drink out, and then not give them the coffee, otherwise we're losing money. Yes, I know that sucks. No, I am not going to bend the rules for you. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.
- Sir, when I don't have your receipt because the printer stopped working and I don't know why, there's no need to literally screech off in a huff. Just don't do it. It makes you look juvenile.
- SUCKY MANAGER. SUCKY. When the printer stops printing receipts and I don't know why, I TELL so that I don't get in trouble for not giving people their receipts. In my defense, the "Paper Out" light is really dim and there was about a third of a roll of receipt paper in there. You don't need to be snide and say, "Do you go to college?" Yes, I do. I move in August 26, I am going to graduate the spring after next with two degrees and (god willing) with honors, and go on to grad school or a real job (STAGE MANAGING, WHAT). You, meanwhile, are going to be a bitchy old lady for a long time.
- Don't be mean to my co-worker M. M is a very nice girl and you were mumbling. You don't need to scream (not raise her voice, this was a scream, I literally pulled my headset off because it hurt my ear).
- For god's sake, this is McDonalds. If you want an iced mocha, drive yourself down to Davenport and go to Starbucks in the mall. Don't want to go to Starbucks? Then go to the grocery store and buy some coffee mix and brew your own. Don't want to brew it? Go to the gas station, there they'll let you pour your own and everything and you can put all the ice and scream and shit you want in it. Don't want to get out of your car? Then you are too lazy to live.
- When your voice goes all chirpy, I can't understand you. When your voice goes all chirpy and you're talking too fast, I DEFINITELY can't understand you. Talk in your alto voice, it's easier to hear.
- There is one guy who comes in everyday at changeover at orders the same thing. A double cheeseburger without ketchup, a McChicken, two small fries, and two senior drinks. Now I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I could always tell that this guy was an asshole. He never smiled. EVER. And he was always snappy and short. So I'm not sure why I was surprised today when he became a total ASSHAT before my eyes. I pressed the wrong key and grilled the double for no pickles. Now, a nice, normal person would say:
Customer: Excuse me - I asked for this double cheeseburger to be no ketchup.
Me: (the long-suffering heroine of our tale) I'm sorry, I must have pressed the wrong key. Let me fix that for you.
Then things would proceed to I would go to the kitchen and tell them that I screwed upagain and need a double no ketchup immediately for front counter, throw away the faulty sandwich, deliver the freshly, correctly made sandwich to the customer, and apologize for my mistake. Depending on the customer they will grunt something unintelligible or say that it was no problem, take their food and leave. BUT. No. This customer had to be an asshole. Let's see what happened:
Old Asshat (referred to as OA from here on): How do you spell KETCHUP?
Me: *taken somewhat aback and already getting that growing feeling of DREAD in my stomach* Excuse me?
OA: I said HOW DO YOU SPELL KETCHUP? IS IT WITH A P? *thrusts double cheeseburger into my face (literally, I backed away reflexively)*
J (my manager, and a knight in shining armour despite that I couldn't trade hours with her): What's the problem here?
OA: HOW DO YOU SPELL KETCHUP?
M (as listed above, god bless her): Sometimes with a C, sometimes with a K! :)
OA: *obviously realizing that being snarky and loud is not going to get him a new sandwich* I ordered this sandwich NO KETCHUP. The tag says NO PICKLES.
Liz: *trying to resist yelling, "WHOPPER NO ONION!"* I must have pressed the wrong key, I'm sorry.
OA: *says something that Liz doesn't remember*
J: *obtains new sandwich from thedepths of hell kitchen* Here you go, sir. We're sorry about that.
OA: *hmphs and LEAVES. LOUDLY.*
I mean. COME ON. If you want to be hoity toity and snarky, at least be clever about it.
- So, to the annoying preppie frat boys: be nice to my fellow counter girl, Ni (not to be confused with co-worker N who does not run for herself of another post). Yes, she is a cute little thing. She's also very nice and sweet. But she does NOT deserve to be hit on by you. And for the record, it was all I could do to not reach over the counter and fix your collar. Which yes, I realize you had popped on purpose, but you look like you just don't know how to dress yourself.
- Okay. To the man who complained about the prices of the food: I have a recipe for homemade steak fries which are DELICIOUS and I know that you can get chicken breasts fairly cheap at the grocery store, even the one here at town that jacks up the prices because they can. Take your $15, go buy five pounds of potatoes and a package of those and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
Well, no, first he gives me trouble about wanting two "grilled sandwiches." Now, if you do not visitThe Ninth Circle McDonalds all that often, we currently have three chicken sandwiches that you can get grilled: the Ranch BLT, the Club, and the Classic. Conversation ensues thus:
Captain Asshole: I want two grilled sandwiches.
Me: Would you like the seven, eight, or nine sandwich? *motions a la Vanna White at the menu board*
CA: No, I want just the sandwich.
Me: ... *already able to tell that this is going to be a long transaction* Okay, just a grilled sandwich, but do you want the Ranch BLT, the Club, or the Classic?
CA: I want a GRILLED SANDWICH.
Me: *has an idea* Do you want it plain? Just meat and bun?
CA: No! I want what's on it!
Me: Okay, so which one would you like? *goes into the schpiel about the differences of each and what's on them, blah blah tomato lettuce baconcakes*
CA: *COMES TO A DECISION!* I want two grilled Classics.
Me: *VICTORY!!1!* *completes the transaction: two large fries, a small drink, and a milk and gives the total: $13.38 or somesuch*
CA: That's a lot.
Me: *ugh* Well, the sandwiches are $x.xx each and large fries are $1.99.
CA: Wouldn't it be cheaper to do the meals?
Me: *thinking, "YEAH LET ME JUST PULL MY CALCULATOR OUT OF MY ASS FOR YOU."* Possibly.
CA: Do that.
Me: *cursing in head the entire while, changes the transactions: he gets two large meals plus the milk* I have to charge you for the drink with the meal otherwise the computer won't ring it up for me. (**Now, this is only half true as I can flag down a manager to put in a code that would allow me to charge without the drink, but they're both on drive thru right now which is swamped beyond belief and I am disinclined to make this man's life easier right now. Wrong of me, maybe, but it felt good.**)
CA: *huffs, like HE'S the one being inconvenienced* FINE.
Me: *completes the transaction*
CA: *mutters the entire time*
- Ni, from above, made a girl (a teenaged fashion plate who was wearing too much make up and talking on a cell phone the entire time Ni was ringing her up) a large Take 5 McFlurry. I didn't even take notice of this until I heard the girl screech, "Is there anything IN THERE???!?!" Ni, the poor girl, was obviously taken aback and I stopped by and said, "Is there something I can help you with?" The girl held it up to me and said, "There's not anything IN HERE!!!" Ni, thinking she did something wrong, checked to see what goes in a Take 5 McFlurry - three scoops of the crumbled up Take 5 mixture and a shot of hot caramel. Yep. All good. So I stirred the mixture by hand, and discovered that the scoops of the candy just didn't get mixed up very well. But of course instead of apologizing for making a scene, the little bitch says, "Whatever. It's all soft" and stalks out.
A) It's soft serve. Get over yourself.
B) We have no control over how hard or soft the ice cream is. IT JUST COMES OUT OF THE MACHINE. Again, get over yourself.
- So, I had this teacher in high school. He came into McDonalds today and to my dismay, he totally recognized me. Now I like most of my teachers and I was a good student in high school and even if I didn't like them, I was never openly hostile or disrespectful. As a fourteen year old student, this man TERRIFIED me. He is a staunch Republican (to this day) which isn't a bad thing, necessarily. I have Republican friends. But this man is one of those Republicans, the ones that don't have any sort of regard for the opinions and beliefs of others. We butted heads a few times once I started growing a backbone as I got older (he also did the Model UN and Youth Symposium group at my high school, which I did all three years after my freshman year), and I am... not a Republican. At best, I am at times a moderate. I'm pretty liberal. Anyway, I have to say that I REALLY didn't appreciate the shit eating grin accompanied with, "I somehow knew you'd end up working here one day!"
Although getting to reply with a similar grin and, "Yeah, I know, right? Ah well, you know, summer jobs, have to work so I have money to spend when I go to Europe next spring. I'm studying history and theatre, did you know?!" I wanted to continue about my 3.8ish GPA and my awesome teachers at Coe, but his smile faded, food arrived, and he left without saying goodbye. :)
And that... was my eight hour shift from hell. *facedesk*
All that was cross-posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
customers_suck. I think it's amazing how one random character epiphany can make my day better. I don't know what it says about me, but I sure could use it and I'm glad that I got it.
It's tax free weekend. I should go shopping and be a good customer.
I opened. That shift at my McDonalds is 6-2. Not my favorite shift, but I'd rather get up early and be there until the afternoon. But I SWEAR all the asshats came out today with their teeth bared.
- So, this isn't really a customers suck, but definitely a suck. We had a breakfast rush starting about 6:20. When I was the only one in the store to do front counter and drive. Cars were backed up, there were about ten people in the lobby, and the kitchen person wound up doing some front counter and collecting, filling in wherever I wasn't. But we only had one walk out. IT SUCKED.
- No, I don't have change for your $100. Why? BECAUSE THE STORE OPENED 25 MINUTES AGO AND PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PAYING ME IN FIVES.
- I had no less than five (I don't know that it was more than that, but definitely no less) say "OMG I DON'T NEED THE COFFEE!" And then I had to schpiel about them about how if they got a drink of lesser value with their meal than the coffee the prices on the menu board are based on, I had to charge them for the small coffee and then whatever drink they actually wanted (usually milk or a SMALL SODA, NO I DON'T NEED A MEDIUM I WON'T DRINK IT ALL I NEED A SMALL!), promo their drink out, and then not give them the coffee, otherwise we're losing money. Yes, I know that sucks. No, I am not going to bend the rules for you. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.
- Sir, when I don't have your receipt because the printer stopped working and I don't know why, there's no need to literally screech off in a huff. Just don't do it. It makes you look juvenile.
- SUCKY MANAGER. SUCKY. When the printer stops printing receipts and I don't know why, I TELL so that I don't get in trouble for not giving people their receipts. In my defense, the "Paper Out" light is really dim and there was about a third of a roll of receipt paper in there. You don't need to be snide and say, "Do you go to college?" Yes, I do. I move in August 26, I am going to graduate the spring after next with two degrees and (god willing) with honors, and go on to grad school or a real job (STAGE MANAGING, WHAT). You, meanwhile, are going to be a bitchy old lady for a long time.
- Don't be mean to my co-worker M. M is a very nice girl and you were mumbling. You don't need to scream (not raise her voice, this was a scream, I literally pulled my headset off because it hurt my ear).
- For god's sake, this is McDonalds. If you want an iced mocha, drive yourself down to Davenport and go to Starbucks in the mall. Don't want to go to Starbucks? Then go to the grocery store and buy some coffee mix and brew your own. Don't want to brew it? Go to the gas station, there they'll let you pour your own and everything and you can put all the ice and scream and shit you want in it. Don't want to get out of your car? Then you are too lazy to live.
- When your voice goes all chirpy, I can't understand you. When your voice goes all chirpy and you're talking too fast, I DEFINITELY can't understand you. Talk in your alto voice, it's easier to hear.
- There is one guy who comes in everyday at changeover at orders the same thing. A double cheeseburger without ketchup, a McChicken, two small fries, and two senior drinks. Now I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I could always tell that this guy was an asshole. He never smiled. EVER. And he was always snappy and short. So I'm not sure why I was surprised today when he became a total ASSHAT before my eyes. I pressed the wrong key and grilled the double for no pickles. Now, a nice, normal person would say:
Customer: Excuse me - I asked for this double cheeseburger to be no ketchup.
Me: (the long-suffering heroine of our tale) I'm sorry, I must have pressed the wrong key. Let me fix that for you.
Then things would proceed to I would go to the kitchen and tell them that I screwed up
Old Asshat (referred to as OA from here on): How do you spell KETCHUP?
Me: *taken somewhat aback and already getting that growing feeling of DREAD in my stomach* Excuse me?
OA: I said HOW DO YOU SPELL KETCHUP? IS IT WITH A P? *thrusts double cheeseburger into my face (literally, I backed away reflexively)*
J (my manager, and a knight in shining armour despite that I couldn't trade hours with her): What's the problem here?
OA: HOW DO YOU SPELL KETCHUP?
M (as listed above, god bless her): Sometimes with a C, sometimes with a K! :)
OA: *obviously realizing that being snarky and loud is not going to get him a new sandwich* I ordered this sandwich NO KETCHUP. The tag says NO PICKLES.
Liz: *trying to resist yelling, "WHOPPER NO ONION!"* I must have pressed the wrong key, I'm sorry.
OA: *says something that Liz doesn't remember*
J: *obtains new sandwich from the
OA: *hmphs and LEAVES. LOUDLY.*
I mean. COME ON. If you want to be hoity toity and snarky, at least be clever about it.
- So, to the annoying preppie frat boys: be nice to my fellow counter girl, Ni (not to be confused with co-worker N who does not run for herself of another post). Yes, she is a cute little thing. She's also very nice and sweet. But she does NOT deserve to be hit on by you. And for the record, it was all I could do to not reach over the counter and fix your collar. Which yes, I realize you had popped on purpose, but you look like you just don't know how to dress yourself.
- Okay. To the man who complained about the prices of the food: I have a recipe for homemade steak fries which are DELICIOUS and I know that you can get chicken breasts fairly cheap at the grocery store, even the one here at town that jacks up the prices because they can. Take your $15, go buy five pounds of potatoes and a package of those and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
Well, no, first he gives me trouble about wanting two "grilled sandwiches." Now, if you do not visit
Captain Asshole: I want two grilled sandwiches.
Me: Would you like the seven, eight, or nine sandwich? *motions a la Vanna White at the menu board*
CA: No, I want just the sandwich.
Me: ... *already able to tell that this is going to be a long transaction* Okay, just a grilled sandwich, but do you want the Ranch BLT, the Club, or the Classic?
CA: I want a GRILLED SANDWICH.
Me: *has an idea* Do you want it plain? Just meat and bun?
CA: No! I want what's on it!
Me: Okay, so which one would you like? *goes into the schpiel about the differences of each and what's on them, blah blah tomato lettuce baconcakes*
CA: *COMES TO A DECISION!* I want two grilled Classics.
Me: *VICTORY!!1!* *completes the transaction: two large fries, a small drink, and a milk and gives the total: $13.38 or somesuch*
CA: That's a lot.
Me: *ugh* Well, the sandwiches are $x.xx each and large fries are $1.99.
CA: Wouldn't it be cheaper to do the meals?
Me: *thinking, "YEAH LET ME JUST PULL MY CALCULATOR OUT OF MY ASS FOR YOU."* Possibly.
CA: Do that.
Me: *cursing in head the entire while, changes the transactions: he gets two large meals plus the milk* I have to charge you for the drink with the meal otherwise the computer won't ring it up for me. (**Now, this is only half true as I can flag down a manager to put in a code that would allow me to charge without the drink, but they're both on drive thru right now which is swamped beyond belief and I am disinclined to make this man's life easier right now. Wrong of me, maybe, but it felt good.**)
CA: *huffs, like HE'S the one being inconvenienced* FINE.
Me: *completes the transaction*
CA: *mutters the entire time*
- Ni, from above, made a girl (a teenaged fashion plate who was wearing too much make up and talking on a cell phone the entire time Ni was ringing her up) a large Take 5 McFlurry. I didn't even take notice of this until I heard the girl screech, "Is there anything IN THERE???!?!" Ni, the poor girl, was obviously taken aback and I stopped by and said, "Is there something I can help you with?" The girl held it up to me and said, "There's not anything IN HERE!!!" Ni, thinking she did something wrong, checked to see what goes in a Take 5 McFlurry - three scoops of the crumbled up Take 5 mixture and a shot of hot caramel. Yep. All good. So I stirred the mixture by hand, and discovered that the scoops of the candy just didn't get mixed up very well. But of course instead of apologizing for making a scene, the little bitch says, "Whatever. It's all soft" and stalks out.
A) It's soft serve. Get over yourself.
B) We have no control over how hard or soft the ice cream is. IT JUST COMES OUT OF THE MACHINE. Again, get over yourself.
- So, I had this teacher in high school. He came into McDonalds today and to my dismay, he totally recognized me. Now I like most of my teachers and I was a good student in high school and even if I didn't like them, I was never openly hostile or disrespectful. As a fourteen year old student, this man TERRIFIED me. He is a staunch Republican (to this day) which isn't a bad thing, necessarily. I have Republican friends. But this man is one of those Republicans, the ones that don't have any sort of regard for the opinions and beliefs of others. We butted heads a few times once I started growing a backbone as I got older (he also did the Model UN and Youth Symposium group at my high school, which I did all three years after my freshman year), and I am... not a Republican. At best, I am at times a moderate. I'm pretty liberal. Anyway, I have to say that I REALLY didn't appreciate the shit eating grin accompanied with, "I somehow knew you'd end up working here one day!"
Although getting to reply with a similar grin and, "Yeah, I know, right? Ah well, you know, summer jobs, have to work so I have money to spend when I go to Europe next spring. I'm studying history and theatre, did you know?!" I wanted to continue about my 3.8ish GPA and my awesome teachers at Coe, but his smile faded, food arrived, and he left without saying goodbye. :)
And that... was my eight hour shift from hell. *facedesk*
All that was cross-posted to
customers_suck. I think it's amazing how one random character epiphany can make my day better. I don't know what it says about me, but I sure could use it and I'm glad that I got it. It's tax free weekend. I should go shopping and be a good customer.
no subject
And that is why I'm so very glad I'm out of fast food, thou retail isn't better, but at least I don't have to deal with people who don't know how to order food.
*hands you cookie* It'll make things better. *patpat*
no subject
no subject
On the other hand, if I find a job that pays better, my snark will take the back burner. I'm sure I can find people to make fun of no matter where I work.
no subject
Sad thing is, I understand completely. Food industry in general is terrible. I HATE PEOPLE. LET'S EAT THEM AND THEIR CHILDREN.
*sends waves of empathy and love*