dramaturgy | (no subject)

I had a nightmare last night. It was one of the really real ones that the minute you wake up, you still have reality mixed with the nightmare. I nightmared that my school replaced detentions and suspensions and expulsions from the school with the death penalty. Which is, of course in reality is absurd, I don't believe that anyone would support such a change in the real world for a second, but it was a nightmare and it was so real.

One of my friends was preparing to die in a truly odd fashion (something to do with a box and a fishing rod). I was completely beside myself, and told my friend I loved her, etc. She said, "Oh, thanks," like I was complimenting her on her hair looked nice or something similar.

!!!! She was so calm about this! I felt like getting up on that damned box and giving her a "Gates of Hell" speech that would make

epicyclical proud to tears. Except I already felt like I was at the Gates of Hell. I felt abandoned by God as well as anything right and good in the world and sanity. I know we joke about being insane and crazy, but that is nothing compared to the lack of sanity going on in my nightmare.

But before I could even jump up on that box, I woke up.